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I’m writing this in the midst of crying over seeing my new GPA, having a LOT of task from SI (an organization am currently voulenteer-ing for), having a lot of hanzi(s) (am currently learning mandarin chinese) to memorize for tomorrow, and realizing that this weekend I will have to attend appointments in three different city ( jakarta-bandung-bogor). Can someone just shot me on the head and bury me under a willow tree?

I hate growing up. It’s painful, and awful, sometimes embarrassing, making me hate myself (and others)..

I used to be excited, just thinking about being an adult : having no one to tell you what to do, having freedom to go anywhere you wanted to, eat anything you want to eat…

But I skipped reading theĀ terms&agreements that said, growing up comes with RESPONSIBILITY, OBLIGATIONS, EXPECTATIONS… and Gosh, expectations, are, HARD.

Now, somehow I feel uninterested with the world. There are just no such an “ideal”, as I was expecting to believe, yet there are wars, hunger, corruption, lies..

I miss having myself, as a kid, waking up and the only thing I was worrying about is whether I should play outside or watching cartoons in TV. Well I guess I just missed the way I enjoy life and having dreams and expectations about the world.

Right now I just feel like the world’s dissapointing me.

Oh, another thing I hate about growing up? Hormones. I’ve been feeling like “plastic-bag-drifting-trough-the-wind” for a week, and it’s infuriating.

What I need best, right now, probably : my mom, foods, my bestfriends, running man, a hug, someone to hear my blabbering thoughts, a haircut.

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